HR Made Easy: How To Do Training Needs Analysis

This has been a tough year. The targets were set a mile high and you have had to growl incessantly at your team. Morale is low. How do you keep them motivated? You walk to the window and sigh in disgust. It is tough being the big cheese. Headquarters will not let you splurge on anything. Those guys in the Finance department are straining at the leash to snap at your ankles if you make one false move. It is a moment of epiphany. You have something to throw to the boys in the trenches – yes, you can send them for training. Nothing like training to motivate the troops. It is a win win. In fact it is a win-win-win. Human Resources will love you for your dedication towards building a talent pipeline, Finance will not grudge you the investment and the team will salivate at the thought.

Training gives you a legitimate chance to act like a five year old again. It is the only place where you can ask for playdough, listen to stories and chuck candy bars at each other while your employer keeps picking up the salary tab. Ever noticed how the trainers automatically tend to have that patronizing tone while addressing a group of adults that can only technically not be classified as baby talk.  You need some specialist advice.

As soon as you drop a note to HR, they send one of those eager lads over to help you decide. He wants to know if you have done a Training Needs Analysis. What is the kid trying to tell you – that you don’t know what you need – that too in training? You give him one look that frees up his mindspace. He quietly complies by not value adding. Armed with a gazillion different brochures from Business Schools and trainers that can provide more variety than what a departmental store can offer. You flip through the set, smiling at your own cleverness. The trick is to choose something that everyone can be trained on. Finance for Non Finance comes to mind. Everyone needs to do it – including some of them in the Finance department itself. Didn’t they all go for it last year?  Fuggedit. Going through spreadsheets can be painful.  How about Marketing for Non-Marketing or Human Resources for Non Humans… naah… they don’t even offer these much needed training programs. Project Management would do everyone some good for sure. You can think of people who would need Advanced Project Management certification before they can consistently manage to reach the office in time. Hold the thought. They are holding it in a Business School at the back of beyond. Who wants to learn in the jungle? The corporate world is jungle enough, you say to yourself and chuckle as you thumb more brochures.

There is a program on Communication Skills. That’s a good one to send your team to. Can you think of even one person who does not need to improve his or her communication skills? They are holding it in the same darn hotel where you once stayed and reached the conclusion that they had a their housekeeping staff doubling up in the kitchen. Can’t go there. Communication skills … but bad food kills.

How about Team Building? Your mind recalls your neighbor coming back from a Team Building session with a limp. It was not team building but that mega bonding exercise that fractured his ankle he said. There are sadists who masquarade as trainers. You still remember the conversation with the broken man.

“It was a Team Building thingy we were forced to go for. Pretty freaked out stuff happens there. There’s like a river. We had to build our own raft and then cross the swimming pool to reach the food and drinks.”

“Did you hurt yourself while building the raft?”

“No I broke my ankle while trying to eat the sandwich. You see, we were the last to crack this raft building thingy. It took us 6 hours to build the raft because no one could figure out how to stop water from flowing through the cracks in our raft. By the time our team crossed the pool, there was only one sandwich left between the six of us. Our team captain tripped me and got to the sandwich.”

It clearly could not be Team Building. I was not a raft builder. My team would suck at that stuff – I mean raft building and not team building. Could it be Leadership skills that you should go for with the boys? Your reasoning is perfect. When they join you fresh out of school, they need Leadership training. When they are stuck in Middle Management for years, the cure is not cod-liver oil. It is Leadership training, my friend. Even the old geezers in the corner office could use that stuff. the President of the country could benefit from Leadership training if only he could sit still for two days.  And you know what, even the venue is awesome? It is at your favorite beach resort. While the lads rough it out in the classroom, you could settle down by the beach sip a beer while adding a few more stars to your already fully grown leadership style. After all, the sea has so much to teach us, you argue with yourself and lose hopelessly. You cast your vote. Leadership it shall be for everyone this year.